Porter Square GP
& the Cambridge Traitor Dashboard
One page. A 2D arcade racer, a bankruptcy clock, a Honda Beat that sets a stranger's Toyota on fire, and a soundboard of one mechanic's worst decisions. Tech violation black flags included, free of charge, unlike the actual repair.
Porter Square GP
Top-down. Dodge the marshals waving black flags (those are the tech violations). When the plastic charge pipe lets go, you patch the car with a 5-letter Pit Lane Wordle or you scrap it.
0m
Pick your weapon
The homelessness clock
A live, ticking, deeply unhelpful countdown to the day the condo closes and the math does not.
Countdown to Drew's condo closing
June 30, 2026. The day the keys are due and the savings are not. Forecast: homelessness, partly cloudy.
Beat rev limiter (do not redline)
Slide it up. Turn the engine on. Hold it at the limiter and watch a perfectly innocent GR Corolla three cars over burst into flames. Physics is a suggestion here.
Honda Beat rev limiter
The traitor soundboard
Every excuse Drew has ever given and every habit Aaron refuses to drop, now with a play button.
Greatest hits of the paddock
Drew · the traitor mechanic
Aaron · bad habits
“Couldn't finish the car, the lift was being used for a vibe check.”
Sleep score: 69 (this is not a flex)
The wearable does not lie, even when you wish it would. VO2 max of a houseplant, arteries of a retiree.
The body is also being bankruptmaxxed
Sleep score
69 / 100
VO2 max
28 ml/kg/min
Vascular age
51 years
Resting heart rate
82 bpm
14m
612
∞